Calming, Alerting and Organising

Calming, Alerting and Organising

Regulation Through Everyday Tasks

As an Occupational Therapist, one of the most asked questions is, “How can I help my child regulate their emotions and behaviour?” The answer isn’t always about stopping a behaviour or encouraging a child to “calm down.” Instead, it’s about understanding what their nervous system is communicating and responding with the right kind of support.

Every child experiences the world differently. Some children become overwhelmed by noise, movement, or busy environments. Others seem to crave movement, touch, or excitement. Regulation is not about controlling children, it’s about helping them find the right state of alertness to participate successfully in daily activities such as learning, playing, socialising, and resting.

One helpful way to think about this is through three types of sensory activities: calming, alerting, and organising.

What Does “Regulation” Mean?

Self-regulation is the ability to manage emotions, attention, energy levels, and behaviour in response to the demands of everyday life. This skill develops over time and often requires support from caring adults before children can manage it independently.

When children struggle with regulation, they are not necessarily being difficult. Often, they are communicating that their nervous system needs something different.

Occupational Therapists look at how sensory experiences influence a child’s ability to function throughout the day. By matching activities to what a child’s nervous system needs, we can help them feel more comfortable, focused, and ready to engage.

Calming Activities

Calming activities help reduce stress, slow the body down, and create a sense of safety. These are especially helpful when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, frustrated, or overstimulated.

Examples include:

• ✓Slow, deep breathing
• ✓Reading together in a quiet space
• ✓Gentle rocking in a rocking chair
• ✓Listening to soft, calming music
• ✓Snuggling under a weighted blanket (when appropriate and supervised)
• ✓Warm baths
• ✓Gentle stretches or yoga
• ✓Slow swinging back and forth
• ✓Massage or firm, comforting hugs (if welcomed by the child)

Calming activities work best when introduced before a child reaches a point of distress. Think of them as preventative tools rather than emergency solutions.

Alerting Activities

Some children need help waking their bodies and brains up. Alerting activities increase arousal and attention, making them useful before learning tasks or during times of low energy.

Examples include:

• ✓Jumping on a trampoline
• ✓Running races
• ✓Dancing to upbeat music
• ✓Animal walks such as bear crawls or crab walks
• ✓Skipping or hopping
• ✓Playing catch
• ✓Chewing crunchy or chewy snacks
• ✓Splashing cool water on the face
• ✓Fast-paced obstacle courses

It’s important to remember that alerting does not mean making children hyperactive. The goal is to help them reach an optimal level of alertness for the task ahead.

Organising Activities

Organising activities help children feel both calm and alert at the same time. These activities provide strong input to the muscles and joints, sometimes called “heavy work,” which can help the brain process sensory information more efficiently.

Examples include:

• ✓Carrying groceries
• ✓Pushing a laundry basket
• ✓Pulling a wagon
• ✓Climbing playground equipment
• ✓Wheelbarrow walks
• ✓Helping move chairs or books
• ✓Playing with resistance bands
• ✓Kneading playdough
• ✓Digging in the garden
• ✓Completing obstacle courses that include crawling, climbing, and pushing

Many organising activities naturally prepare children for sitting, concentrating, and participating in classroom or home routines.

Every Child Is Different

One activity may calm one child but energise another. For example, swinging slowly may be soothing for one child while making another feel more alert. This is why Occupational Therapists spend time observing, assessing, and understanding each child’s unique sensory preferences and responses.

There is no universal sensory toolkit. What works today may not work tomorrow, depending on factors such as sleep, illness, hunger, stress, or changes in routine.

The key is to stay curious and notice patterns.

Ask yourself:

• ✓What happened before my child became dysregulated?
• ✓What activities seem to help them recover?
• ✓When are they most focused and engaged?
• ✓Are there particular environments that make regulation easier or harder?

Building Regulation Into Everyday Routines

Supporting regulation doesn’t require expensive equipment or complicated programmes. Many of the most effective strategies can be built into daily life.

Try incorporating movement before homework, quiet reading after busy outings, heavy work before meals, or calming bedtime routines. Small, consistent opportunities throughout the day often have a greater impact than waiting until a child is already overwhelmed.

Remember that regulation is a skill that develops over time. Children benefit most when adults respond with patience, understanding, and flexibility rather than expecting perfect self-control.

A Final Thought

As Occupational Therapists, we don’t simply ask, “How do we change this behaviour?” Instead, we ask, “What is this child telling us through their behaviour, and how can we support their nervous system?”