Finding the Calm and Alert State
Finding the Calm and Alert State
As therapists, we often hear phrases like, “They’re so busy today,” or “She just can’t settle.” Some days your child may seem to have endless energy, while on others they appear withdrawn, tired, or easily overwhelmed. These changes in behaviour are often linked to something Occupational Therapists call regulation.
One of our primary goals in Occupational Therapy is to help children achieve and maintain a calm and alert state — the optimal state for learning, playing, interacting with others, and participating in everyday activities.
What Is the Calm and Alert State?
A calm and alert state is when a child’s body and brain are working together in balance. They are awake, attentive, emotionally regulated, and able to respond appropriately to the demands of their environment.
In this state, children are most able to:
- ✓Focus on tasks
- ✓Learn new skills
- ✓Engage in play
- ✓Communicate effectively
- ✓Follow instructions
- ✓Solve problems
- ✓Manage their emotions
- ✓Participate in family routines
Being calm and alert does not necessarily mean sitting quietly. A child can be active, curious, and energetic while still being regulated and in control of their body and emotions.
Understanding Self-Regulation
Self-regulation is the ability to monitor and adjust our level of alertness, emotions, and behaviour to meet the demands of different situations.
Babies are not born with this skill. Instead, they rely on caregivers to help regulate their nervous systems through cuddling, feeding, rocking, soothing voices, and responsive interactions. This process is known as co-regulation.
Over time, with repeated supportive experiences, children gradually develop the ability to regulate themselves.
Some children naturally find this easier than others, particularly if they have differences in sensory processing, attention, anxiety, developmental delays, or neurodevelopmental conditions.
When Children Move Outside the Calm and Alert State
Throughout the day, children naturally move between different levels of arousal. This is completely normal. The challenge arises when they struggle to return to a calm and alert state.
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High Alert (“Too Fast”) Children who are over-aroused may appear:
Their nervous system is working overtime, making it difficult to slow down. |
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Low Alert (“Too Slow”) Children who are under-aroused may seem:
Their nervous system may need more sensory input to become alert and engaged. |
Neither state is “bad.” They simply indicate that the child’s nervous system needs support to find its optimal level of regulation.
How Does Sensory Processing Influence Regulation?
Our sensory systems constantly provide information to the brain about both our bodies and our environment. The brain uses this information to determine how alert, calm, and organised we feel.
Some sensory experiences are naturally calming, while others are alerting. For example:
- ✓A firm hug often feels calming
- ✓Fast spinning is usually highly alerting
- ✓Gentle rocking may help a baby settle
- ✓Bright lights and loud noises may overwhelm some children
- ✓Heavy work, such as climbing, pushing, pulling, or carrying, can help organise the nervous system
Every child processes sensory information differently. What calms one child may excite another, which is why there is no one-size-fits-all approach.
The Occupational Therapy Perspective
Occupational Therapists look beyond behaviour to understand why a child may be struggling to regulate. Rather than asking, “Why is this child behaving this way?” we ask:
“What is their nervous system telling us?”
By identifying each child’s sensory preferences, triggers, strengths, and challenges, we can develop personalised strategies that support regulation throughout the day.
Regulation is not about eliminating emotions or expecting children to remain calm all the time. Instead, it is about helping them move flexibly between different states and return to a calm and alert state when needed.
Supporting a Calm and Alert State at Home
Parents play a vital role in helping children regulate. Small, consistent strategies throughout the day can make a significant difference. Some helpful approaches include:
- ✓Establishing predictable daily routines
- ✓Providing regular opportunities for active movement
- ✓Encouraging outdoor play
- ✓Incorporating heavy work activities such as pushing, pulling, climbing, or carrying
- ✓Creating quiet spaces for rest and calming
- ✓Limiting overstimulation when children appear overwhelmed
- ✓Using deep breathing, cuddles, or calming music during difficult moments
- ✓Ensuring children have enough sleep and regular meals
Most importantly, remember that your own calm presence is one of the most powerful regulation tools your child has. Children learn regulation through repeated experiences of being supported by calm, responsive adults.
Every Child’s “Just Right” State Is Unique
The calm and alert state looks different for every child. Some children naturally need more movement, while others need quieter environments to feel organised. The goal is not to change who they are but to understand how their nervous system works and provide the support they need to participate confidently in everyday life.
At the heart of Occupational Therapy is the belief that every child deserves the opportunity to engage meaningfully in their daily occupations — whether that is learning in the classroom, enjoying play, connecting with family, or exploring the world around them. By supporting regulation, we are giving children the foundation they need to do exactly that.
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